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              你究竟要自欺欺人多久呢?

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              qinting

              2020年02月28日

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              Imagine you are carrying around a faux Prada bag you bought for six dollars. It looks real. It feels real. But how long can you keep convincing yourself that it is?

              想象一下你背着六美元淘来的山寨普拉达四处奔走的场景。它看起来是真的,摸起来也很真??赡憔烤挂云燮廴硕嗑媚?

              Relationships all too often work the same way. Eventually, the fake label falls off, the seams bust, the handles break. The quality just isn't there.

              感情也常常是这样的。到最后,仿造的标志会掉,接缝会开线,手柄会坏,质量堪忧。

              There are many days we feel clueless, and riddled by blind spots. We rarely understand the difference between 'faux and full' when it comes to relationships. Too often our relationships masquerade as real, and we spend countless months trying to build on something to get us to the next phase, only to discover that we’re trapped by a faux love that's actually going nowhere.

              很多时候,我们没有头绪,被一叶障目。我们在感情里很难分清“山寨和正品”的区别,它常常伪装得如此真实。我们花了无数的时间依赖于它,希望自己得到升华,却只发现自己被困在一段虚假的感情中,毫无进展。

              你究竟要自欺欺人多久呢?

              When a relationship is real, it's growing; it's going somewhere. You have shared interests, and there's an unspoken acceptance. And without these building blocks in place, you're setting yourself up for a pile of agony and heartache.

              真实的感情是看得到未来的。双方有共同的利益和默契。没有这些作为基础,你将深陷痛苦和心碎中。

              Even from the beginning, in that very first week, we all know when something is wrong. It's very easy to absorb misinformation, to create and spread an underlying assumption that you're somehow incomplete if you haven't found your soul mate.

              甚至在感情伊始,在最初的一个礼拜,如有不妥我们是察觉得到的。我们很容易接受一种错误的信息,形成并且传播一种潜在的假设:没有灵魂伴侣的人生不完整。

              Try taking this litmus test: The next time you are facing a snag of doubt, try going back to the first week you met, or an early moment where you felt something was off. Take a minute and see how your body feels; you may experience uneasiness or a bit of fear. Your body is telling you something crucial. Trust it, explore it, and it will reveal what you need to know.

              那就试着做这样一个“石蕊(一种指示剂)测试”吧:下一次你再有疑虑、踌躇不前的时候,不妨试试回到你们最初相遇的那一周,或者你最初察觉到不妥的那一刻。静下心来花点时间,看看你的身体作何感受。你可能会感受到些许不安或惧怕。你身体告诉你的正是很关键的东西,去相信它、去挖掘它,它自然会给你透露你想要的。

              It isn’t wrong to want an ideal love. We all want one. And we have a perfect right to believe that such a love is possible in this life. Not a faux love. A full love.

              追求理想中的爱情并不是错,世人皆如此。我们也有权力去相信,人生中这样的爱是可寻的。不是伪装的爱,而是真实的爱。


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